I was with some friends, and they were treating their children like angels, but I don't want mine to be brats. What should I do?How do you be a good parent?
You didn't say your friends kids were misbehaving so why not treat them like angels? I don't see anything wrong with that.
A child looks to see if your face lights up when they walk in the room, or if you have a look of dread. They want to know you approve of them, as their self esteem is forming. If the only way they get attention is to do naughty things, then they often will. So make sure that when they are behaving and being fun or kind, you let them know you notice that.
The best thing you can do is exhibit the behavior yourself that you want your child to model after.
Let them know you love them by doing thoughtful things for them. Make a big deal out of thoughtful things they do for you.
Let them know you still love them but are disappointed when they act mean, selfish or violent. Never reward bad behavior, and never 'ignore' it.
TALK, COMMUNICATE,set examples, reward the good, discipline the naughty (not with physical punishment because hitting is not good role model behavior).
Best wishes..
How do you be a good parent?
I am probably not the greatest parent in the world, but I think in order to be a good parent you have to give a lot a love, but you also have to set boundaries. Love and discipline tie in together. It is your responsibility as a parent to teach a kid right from wrong. It is also your responsibility as a parent to give them all the love, support, and understanding in the world. In my opinion the three most important things in raising children is : Patience, Discipline, and most importantly above all is LOVE.
Its ok to treat your children like angels, but not all the time. You have to mold them to what you want them to be. No child is perfect, and no parent is perfect. You just do the best you can. Set limits and give all the love in your heart and you will have great children.
Do you already have children? There is no handbook, but there are some things that I believe: 1st you have to be extremely unselfish. In everything you do, you child needs to be your top priority, that is not to say that you don't make time for yourself and your partner, that just means that decisions you make effect your child as well.
I have a lot of other ideas as well mostly stemming from my horrible upbringing. My parents had some very distorted ideas on how to raise children, mostly revolving around abusing them in various forms. You have to be willing to give love lots and lots of love and never expect anything in return, because sometimes your child will hate you but you still need to love them. And that does not mean spoiling them. Children need love and affection far more than they need things like toys and designer clothes. I also believe in letting children think freely and not brainwashing them with religion at such a young age, but that is just me and I know tons of people disagree with me. (don't send me nasty emails).
I know a lot of parents who think their children can do no wrong. That is definitely the wrong attitude to take.
Are you a parent already?
My motto is, take each day as it comes. Things seem impossible and scary when you try and plan how the future ends up, so take each situation as it arises and deal with things on a daily basis instead of having an overall plan. Use your judgement as each situation presents itself, when your child is chucking toys out the highchair and crying till he gets them back, do you give in or keep them? When your child screams blue murder until you buy them a chocolate bar before teatime, do you give in or stick to your guns? When your child wants an ipod because all her friends have one, do you give in or make her see that she needs to earn gifts or wait until a birthday? Just make sure, as every thing like this happens, that you stay true to yourself and instill good values into your children, even if it means a few tantrums along the way, and hopefully you'll end up with good kids.
Remember that they will respect you in the end for being fair and consistant.
Agree on what is acceptable behaviour and stick to it, consequences for misbehaviour and as much praise as yoiu can fit in the rest of the time.
Treat them in a way that shows them what you expect like if you ask them to do something then say thank you before you've done it and then they know you expect them to do it and that you are gratefull.
You must expect them to be polite and allways ask nicely for things and if the huff when you say no then there should be a consequence.
All kids are different though some are more likely to exhibit 'brattish' behaviour than others however they are brought up.
Love and value your children and remember that they a people.
Reward with praise positive behavior
Discipline neg behavior,
....Learning how to effectively discipline your child is an important skill that all parents need to learn. Discipline is not the same as punishment. Instead, discipline has to do more with teaching, and involves teaching your child right from wrong, how to respect the rights of others, which behaviors are acceptable and which are not, with a goal of helping to develop a child who feels secure and loved, is self-confident, self-disciplined and knows how to control his impulses, and who does not get overly frustrated with the normal stresses of everyday life....... (this was from the website link below)
Also, listen to your kids, be honest AND CONSISTENT with them. Let them know you love them and like to be around them. Make them feel safe. Teach the the value of hard work. If my kids want something then I have them do extra around the house, not everyday chores, that is part of being family. Picking weeds, or extra duty chores, washing the car etc. *mine are older if you can't tell
http://lisahuntwarren.blogspot.com/2008_鈥?/a>
(scroll down to ';What it takes to be a parent'; - if you're interested at all.)
There are three kinds of parents:
Parents who absolutely baby their children and never tell them right from wrong - and they end up with babies.
Parents who yell frequently, don't treat children with much respect, are always on their back, may hit them, and generally act like their children are ';low life'; - they end up with brats. Here's why: Children don't particularly respect them because they see them as out-of-control and incapable. Also, children model their behavior after parents, so if parents are rude and aggressive to their children, that's what their children learn.
Parents who treat their children with respect, try to make them happy and laugh, are nice to them, but have a reasonable set of expectations/standards of behavior (that children can see are reasonable expectations) - These parents get well behaved kids and a home that is generally loving and peaceful. That doesn't mean kids (or parents) can't get angry about something or disagree, but setting the standard of discussing disagreements within the bounds of being civil allows for expression of thoughts/feelings without having things get out of control.
Setting the standard, ';I always treat you with respect, and I expect you to treat me and others with respect as well'; goes a long way. Staying with expectations about ';what would be acceptable in society when you're grown up'; is a good guide for knowing which things to have rules about and which ones to let up on. For example, hitting isn't acceptable in society; so that's an important rule. Not eating all your peas is entirely acceptable (sometimes even desirable if that would mean eating beyond being hungry), so rules about eating all the peas should go.
Here's an article on yelling - in case you're at all interested:
http://www.helium.com/items/1115671-yell鈥?/a>
teach them rules, boundaries, and discipline. teach them values and morals and don't back down when they try to break rules. above all love your children like they won't be here tomorrow. get them active in groups, sports, or hobbies. there are so many things to do to be a good parent that it's impossible to list them all.
Human nature is kind and loving. Listen to your heart closely and you will know what to do.
To me, good parent loves his/her kids(s) a lot but shows the right amount of love and control at different stages of their kids' lives.
Discipline! Do what is best for your kids at all time. They may not think that you are the most ';fun'; mom or dad, but when they get older and are great people, they will have you to credit.
i would like to say that you can never get the ';perfect'; parent, all you can do is try your best to raise your kids!!!
have hope :D
L2write
Will if you liked how you turned out do what your parents did
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