Why do some parents want sole custody over a child when they're not at risk being with the other parent?

i keep hearing about kids whose parents are having messy custody battles where both parents are trying to get sole custody. what i don't understand is why. the other parent isn't a drug addict and don't beat the kids or anything, so why rob the kid of their relationship with the other parent?





is it just because they're selfish?Why do some parents want sole custody over a child when they're not at risk being with the other parent?
Yes, they both want as much as possible, depriving the other.


It's about ';winning';. The one who gets the MOST, including the kid(s) AND the child support they bring with them,';wins'; in the World of divorces.


Sadly, it really IS as simple as that.Why do some parents want sole custody over a child when they're not at risk being with the other parent?
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Sole custody is fairly rare these days. Usually it's joint LEGAL custody with one parent being the primary residential parent, most often the mother. Joint PHYSICAL custody has been pushed for the last 35 years, the original author of which passed away last month. To a less degree, but growing, is Bird Nest Custody.





Trying to gain primary control does involve a control issue, but men do not go for custody to avoid supporting the child. It's rare for a father to get awarded child support from the mother, and more likely he will still be ordered to pay it to the non-custodial mother. Of those mother ordered to pay, only 5% do.
Well if the relationship ended badly both parents probably see the other as unqualified and irresponsible. There is obviously some reason they got divorced (temper, fighting, can't keep a job, irresponsible) I don't think any parent wants to share their child/children either. It would be heartbreaking to see them go every weekend or week. It would also put the other out of their lives completely. If you have to drive your child to your ex-husbands house all the time you are going to have to interact with them. I don't think it's selfish. They are just hurt and probably wanting to never have to talk to them again.
They are adults acting like children - no worse than kids. They are treating their children like trophies in the divorce ';war'; and want to ';win'; as much territory before conceding that the battle is over.


Some do it just to hurt their partner, as a final act of revenge.


Some do it for the financial benefits - the one with the kids gets more of the assets.


Very few do it for the children's benefit, especially as you say, there's no abuse or problem with the other parent.
It could be a control thing or selfishness or maybe you haven't heard the whole story. Sometimes the other parent can seem like a good parent, when behind closed doors they really aren't. Things like verbal abuse and manipulation can often be hard to prove.
Yes, basically.





They think that the hurt they feel is hurting the children, or they think because they left them that they want to leave the children too. A lot of times they actually think they are a bad person, because they betrayed them.
it's because in those cases the parents are using the children to hurt each other rather than do what's best for the children. They honestly aren't even thinking about the kids in that case.
it is the ultimate control when you have sole custody of the kids. what you says goes and you have control of everything they do, who they see, when they see them and blah blah blah
Yes. They now hate each other so much they are trying to inflict one last round of pain and ';win'; over the other spouse.
No, it's a control thing. They want to use the child as a tool.
yah selfishness and to see who wins and to spite each other very very sad

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