Are you a better parent than your parents?

Why or why not?Are you a better parent than your parents?
Yes.





My mother was a manic depressive alcoholic (as was my maternal grandmother) from the time I was 4, she stopped drinking when I was 16.





My dad was a hard worker, he worked oversea's for months at a time.





My mum would drink when he was away, and stop for the week he was home. Me and my sister were too afraid to admit the truth.





When I was 16, my dad was home, my mum left and cleared out bank accounts. A week later she returned and worked towards stopping drinking.





I love them both. No-one is perfect. But my childhood was robbed from me - I wont let that happen to my daughter. I have a great paranoia with alcohol, I know the statistics and was I am predisposed too. I drink less than once a month (not at all now, Im pregnant) but like you, I hope I have broken the cycle.Are you a better parent than your parents?
Actually, yes i am.


I pride myself on the fact.


My mum left me and my sister in the care of my nan and told me she was going into town for a pint of milk..and didn't come home for 2 months. This happened quite a few times during my childhood.





my dad's heart is in the right place, but he is an alcoholic and beat my mum black and blue daily.


i was relieved when they divorced!





now i am a 29 yr old single mum with 2 kids. I tell them everyday that i love them ( i don't EVER remember my mum or dad having EVER said that to me), they don't get dumped on people, they are loved, happy, looked after.





when i became a parent, i always said that my parents had given me the best gift ever: They showed me what a parent shouldn't be like. i bought my kids up exactly the ooppositeto how i was bought up, and we are happier for it.
I'm so sorry to hear that your father was abusive. Thank God you are stopping that now by both being a caring parent yourself and marrying a good man.





I don't know if I'll say I'm a better parent than my parents, but I am doing a lot differently than they did. They are very much right winged Conservatives and very very strict Christians.





I am a conservative and a Christian in my views, but I do not shun or think I am better than people who make bad choices. Do I wish they didn't make bad choices? Sure. But unlike my parents, I won't cut all ties with people who make choices I disagree with or act holier than thou.





I love my parents and they are good people, but they are too close minded. You could tell them you had an abortion because you were raped and they would get on to you for killing an unborn baby. That's just the way they were brought up. But if you tell me you had an abortion because you were raped, I would say while I don't necessarily agree with that because of my beliefs I can understand why you made the choice you did.





So in essence, I don't know if you'd say I'm a better parent than they were, but I am going to do A LOT differently than they did. There's a lot I learned from them that was good though such as loving your children, caring for them, raising with good moral ethics and Christian values, and providing for your children.
I am far beyond better than my father and my mom I am better overall. My mom had a lot on her plate when I was a child (she definitely could have handled it better) but I think she did a good job with all things considered. There are many mistakes that she made that I won't repeat so I think I am a better mom with that knowledge (she had ppd for years after my sister and took a lot out on me.) My father was never around. To the outside world my parents looked like the Cleavers but in reality he was absent and I have no relationship with him now.
There are times when I know I've handled something much better than my mom would have and other times that I wish I was more like her. She was a great mom but very old school, very intimidating at times and not the greatest communicator. I got my strictness from her and don't take any crap but try to have a bit more of an open door policy with my kids.


My dad was simply the best.





Am I a better parent? I don't think so, I'm pretty happy with me and the way I turned out. My childhood was reasonably happy, although we all have our little traumas, and I don't feel the need to attend therapy sessions to blame my parents for all my problems. That said my son is a successful, happy young man and I think I did pretty good too. So no....not better, not worse...just different.
Um I am hesitant to say yes, because I have good parents, but there is no cohesiveness to my family, love but no real connection. It's weird, it's awkward sometimes, it's sad.





Both of my parents are medical doctors, so they are on call a lot and missed out on a lot of our piano recitals and track meets. I knew they always cared though and would be there if possible..





Everything is taboo in my family, we don't talk about personal things. I don't want it to be that way with my son, I want us to be open and honest with each other, I want us to establish that familial connection that I don't have with my first family.
My dad: Yes. He was abusive and when my mother left, he told my mother he took everything we had and told my mother he would 'Starve us in to submission' when she left him. Luckily my grandparents were rich enough to support us all, my mother then married a lovely man who was far better than our biological father. My father and his sisters carried out a very vicious hate campaign against my mother, at one point me and my sister were under police protection whilst at school to make sure he could not get to us.





My mother: No way. She finished university with me and my sister in tow, raised us single handedly for a while and then went to get a second degree so that she could qualify as a solicitor (lawyer in the US), she did her second degree from home whilst working part time. She is a great woman and has never failed to be there for us.
YES.


Everything my parents did I do the opposite. I don't want my son looking back when he's a teenager or an adult and saying he has no real connection or relationship with me or my husband. I want his childhood to be happy for him because those years are formative to his later life. Unlike my childhood, my son will be taken places and allowed to experience things from museums to theater. He will be exposed to different places in travels and given the chance to explore them. We make holidays special and his birthday as welll. Those are the memories that stick with kids for life- vacations and experiences they had as a family, the holidays and birthdays. There isn't a day that goes by we don't hug him and tell him how proud we are of him and that he's loved. Everything my parents didn't do I make it a point to do as much as possible.





After growing up in an emotionally void and abusive environment there is no way that I would do it to my son. I want him to feel secure, happy and to know how loved and wanted he is every single day so he isn't afraid to tell us things or to be himself in a situation. Unlike in the house I grew up in he is free to believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, Leprachauns and Tooth Fairies as long as he wants. We go trick or treat and don't make an issue about the satanic side of Halloween. We focus on what it is for kids- a time to dress up in a costume for a little while and getting candy. That is what we focus on for Halloween, not the grim evil stuff that sometimes accompanies it. When he starts playing sports, doing scouts or other things you can bet we'll be there supporting him. My father NEVER came to a single open house or recital. When I was in highschool and did my final year's recital for piano neither of them bothered to show up- at all. They went shopping for themselves instead. I was the only one there without anyone. I don't care if my son is only being honored for attendance records or the Noble Prize, I will be there for him.





My husband and I agree that we will not have our son's childhood be like our own were. We want to make his happy and special for him. I don't want our child looking at us when he's a teenager saying ';I hate you'; and meaning it or being afraid to say or do anything because he would be guilted over it being wrong. I still have horrible memories of being a senior in highschool and buying a CD player with birthday money and feeling like I had to sneak it into the house and hide it when I did because of what my parents might think or say. I don't want my son growing up that way.
i am a much different parent than my mom was. I am present at least. I know i am not the perfect mom, and no one is, but my mom was just never there. i was at home taking are of the younger kids, while she was off with whatever boyfriend of the week. my mother and i have made peace and are fine now, but i resented losing my childhood, so she could have a second childhood. BUT she hasnt changed. My mother expects myself and my middle sister (both of us are grown with our own kids and live an hr from her) to drop everything to hang out with her all the time if she is single, but when she has a boyfriend, we get to see her at christmas for an hr if we are lucky. Quality time is sending IMs a few times a week. I also see that she is not present with my youngest sister that still lives with her (15 years old) that sister gets dropped off either with her dad, grandparents, or my other sister every single weekend, so that my mom can have run off with her bf.


so in that way, i am a much better mom than she was. I am there for my kids, we are together all the time, unless they are at their dads. I think everyone strives to be better than their parents were. i love my mom, but i couldnt be away from my kids as much as she always has been.
i wouldn't say better we each had/have different things to cope with now my mum and dad were strong .. by this i mean my dad had cancer and other health problems so growing up we couldn't do much because of our dads treatment, so we did the little things like go to the park and play games this meant a lot to me and my brother, and my mum had mental health problems and was hospitalised a few times, so was tough but they were great parents with what they went through, Now me .. i have twins one is disabled and our life is a bit like ours was back then we can only do so much because Thomas can be an handful sometimes, but its the little things that matter ...right
sorry to hear you were abused, my mom is a recovering alcoholic, she never abused us but when she was drinking she was passed out half the time, my sis was like my guardian angel, my dad worked alot when she would drink, when she was sober though she was great, she wasn't always drunk or anything, there was a good 7 year period where she was sober, I hardly ever drink, im too afraid to, I think each generation learns something and tries to improve, I've made my parenting mistakes but I feel im doing a pretty good job, hopefully my kids will look back and think so too.
My Parents, not at all. I am barely half as amazing as my late Father, and My Mother.





They both are dedicated Parents. My Brother was diagnosed with Cancer, and my Mother has not left his bedside in months. That is dedication for you.


I could tell My dad anything in the world, and he always stood by me. He was the most AWESOMEST Dad.
Yes. My parents were married, but my dad never made time for us. I was big into dance and academics and he never came to see any of that. HId from us that he had 2 older sons til we were teens. OFf in college he left my mom for our neighbor! Haven't seen him in 3 years never even seen my youngest. My mom is there but she can be really critical. She let some things go on when I was a child that I really strongly disapprove and am ashamed of to this day. I would never belittle my kids or put them above my husband or a man. But she is a good Oma and we appreciate that. My hubby makes a great and understanding husband and very patient father. My kids are really lucky to have him.
Yes, and I'm very proud of that fact.





Good luck
yes i am a better parent But my Mom i can say is an honest woman and gives me credit for being a better parent then she was. also i can say i hope to only be as good as or even 1/2 as good as the grandmother she has turned out to be .
It depends on the person. Some are able to learn from other people's mistakes and others just learn to make the same mistakes. I personally like to think that I learned from my parent's mistakes but my husband seems to repeat his parent's mistakes.
By far. My son has two parents, doesn't live in the projects, I do not do drugs around him, he lives in a home where all the utilities (power, water, phone) are ON, more more more. I offer my son everything I never had.
No, my parents were (and still are) excellent.


I strive to be as good as them.


I am sorry about your dad and glad to hear you have broken the cycle.
Well, my parents were poor, nutty, ';jesus freak'; bohemian types. I love them, but my childhood was a little erratic. I think my child's life is going to be a little bit more stable.
yes, I won't go into detail but I was abused so I defiantly am a better parent then my parents.(a millions times better)
I have the greatest parents you could ever ask for. Now that I am older I realize that. My son is pretty well off, too :)
Not a parent but to assure you my kids will be more disaplined