How to deal with a parent with (possible) personality disorders?

Ok, my mother has been declared ';mentally unstable'; by a court/therapists earlier this year and I would like some options on how to deal with her.


Her behavior is almost a mirrored image of her mother's and it was assumed my grandmother had several personality disorders (I would say she was diagnosed, but she never went to a counselor herself. This was information/assumptions my counselors explained to me over the years).


Grandmother was assumed to have: Narcissistic personality disorder and Histrionic personality disorder among others. After reading the explanations for these two in the DSM-IV, I see several parallels, and though I know it's not an official diagnosis, I really would like some tips on how to deal with something like this.


I would like to avoid breaking any/all contact, but if there is no other option... then there's no other option. I just want to explore my options as thoroughly as possible.How to deal with a parent with (possible) personality disorders?
Setting your own personal boundaries will be important. Dr. Henry Cloud has an excellent book on boundaries that might be helpful for you. I struggle with a father who has strong narcisstic traits (he's never offically been to a doctor to be diagnosed either). I've had to accept that he is very likely incapable of really understanding my (or anyone else's) point of view the way I want him to. As I see it, there are lots of reasons 'why he is the way he is', both from his childhood and probably also from his biological makeup. And I truly believe he does the best he can. But, I've also learned that I can decide to what to degree I want to be involved in his life, or how I let his behavior affect my own life. And actually, as I've begun setting my own limits gently and respectfully, our relationship has slowly improved. Best of luck to you. I hope you also have supportive persons in your life you can talk with about this. It can be very helpful!