Did your views about your parents changed when you became a parent yourself?

If so, which views changed?





Do you raise your children the same way your parents raised you?Did your views about your parents changed when you became a parent yourself?
I think that your views on everything change when you become a parent. You just look at the world differently. As for your parents, I guess it depends. If you had bad ones you might see how easy it would have been for them not to be bad. you might question why they had to be the way they were. If you had good ones, you might appreciate the role model they were to you. If you had good parents you might also have a new respect for what they did for you.





But mostly I think your thoughts in general change. You relate everything to how it will effect your children. You get an understanding of what your parents could have easily done or not done to make your childhood better and you try and do that for your kids.





For me, when I had kids, the main view that changed about my mom was this... I used to feel that she did the best she could with what she had. I now know that she could have easily done better. (I'm living proof) I still love her just as much, I just don't respect the way she brought me up as much.





As for do I raise my children how I was raised? For the most part no... But I do try to give them everything I didn't have as a child that every child deserves to have. I do some things that my mom did. I guess I could say that you take the good and use it and improve on the bad.Did your views about your parents changed when you became a parent yourself?
they will


parents now days just dont understand
1. Absolutely - I saw both of my parents in a negative light, blamed them for my own shortcomings and character flaws, resented the mistakes they'd made with their children, thought them selfish, lazy, even morally questionable.


Since having kids, I've come to understand that they did the best they could in the time and place they were each at. They were only human, and well-intentioned for the most part. I know now that they loved my brother and I, and they each made huge sacrifices on our behalf.


2. I sure as heck do not raise my children the way I was raised. I am fairly strict, while my mother was very lenient. On the other hand, I follow my mom's example in structuring their schedules, bedtimes, and diet.


Having said all that, please understand that I am living in conditions that my mother was not. She was a fairly poor, single working mother living in the city. She had few resources, financial, emotional, etc.I am more stable financially, married, living in a beautiful home in one of the safest cities in the country.
I had to become a mother, to understand that I never had one.





There are things you do, with regard to your child, no matter what.





There are things you do not allow, over your own dead body.





She failed on all counts, for no valid reason whatsoever.
Ha ..that is funny. I swore when I was young and pregnant that my kids were NEVER gonna throw a fit in the store or write on my walls with crayons and stuff like that. WHATEVER! I've been embarrassed more than once in a restaurant or store and my walls looks like Picasso lives here! lol. Don't stress too much..they Will grow fast enough and the little things won't seem so stressful when you get older.
I have another 2 months before my child is here, and I cant stop asking my mom questions about parenting I respect my parents and admire the way they raised me. Im sure there would be some little things I would do different like the kinds of foods i cook for my son i dont want him to grow up on take out like I did. But im going to try to be for the most part like my parents.
I actually thought I had great parents until I had my own kids, and now I realize that there was so much more that we could have done together. I always felt like an afterthought.





I spend time with my children daily, and I don't make them compete for my attention. It means some days I get ';nothing'; done, but hey, I'd just be doing ';nothing'; over again the next day!
yes, significantly. i no longer have respect for them as parents.
I definetly learned to appreciate my parents for what happened ';behind the scenes'; while I was growing up. A perfect example is the finances of parents. I always had nice clothes, would come home from school, turn on the lights , turn on the cable television, call my friends on our phone, snack from a fully stocked refrigerator. Never once did I have to wonder if we would have electricity, cable, phone or food. It was given.





The difference in how I raise my children is that I provide much more emotional support. My dad ( I lived with him) was not a very show love type of man. So I am constantly hugging my kids and telling them how much I love them. I also build on their self esteem as much as I can. I attend every school function/extracurricular activity possible so they know I am always there for them.
I actually swore I would be nothing like my own mother. Well guess what I am almost her clone. I am a nurse as is she, I have two children as does she, I am the ';rock'; in my house as is she. I hated her tactics growing up but in reality they worked. I thought she was to strict, she actually was not strict enough. I have had to have my own children and issues with raising them to respect her. I used to think I would be my children's best friend--well that is nothing more than a quick way to get ran over. I am absolutely different than I thought I would be. I think that having children changes your entire life, the way you think, the way you act, your priorities, your relationships, every aspect of my life has been touched my my children. Even my sex life!:)lol I believe that to be a good parent your life must change and incorporate your children, which means that you will not be who you once thought you would be. Which is OK I have changed for the better.
My mother used pacifiers for all of us. So many pics of us had those things in our mouths. I remember uttering the words: ';No child of mine will ever use one of those stupid pacifiers! It's ridiculous and why start them on a habit that's tough to break?'; Child one of three wanted to nurse 24 hours a day. My nipples were sore, bleeding and I was crying. Finally I realized she just needed that sucking,not the milk all the time so she ended up with a pacifier. Oh glory day! Child 3 of 3 was in the hospital a lot the first four months of his life and believe me, that pacifier helped him get through all the ivs, spinal taps, etc. Child 2 sucked his thumb from the second he was born so it was a non issue with him.


As far as other parenting, I raise mine more like my Mom did with us. Dad was a hitter and kind of a bully and I just cannot understand how one could do that to anyone much less your own child. I didn't think spanking was bad, though, as long as you didn't go over board. I spanked my kid once and the look on her face was horrible. You could actually see her self esteem being sucked out of her. We found other ways of discipline and all three of my teens are fantastic so far.