At what age can a child legally decide which parent he wants to live with?

I have a son who is 13 years old who lives with his father. I have been made to believe by my ex husband's 2nd wife (the one after me) the my ex husband emotionally abuses my son. I was told that my ex refers to me as ';the evil *****'; instead of my son's mother, and that he yells at my son constantly. In fact, my ex's ex wife told me that while she and my ex were married, my ex drilled into my son's head that I am not his biological mother, that the step mother was. This among many other things makes me want to take custody of my son but I am afraid that my son is so brainwashed by this man that he may not see what is wrong with the living situation and he may tell the courts he wants to stay with my ex. I don't know what to do. Anyone ever been in a similar situation or have any ideas?At what age can a child legally decide which parent he wants to live with?
It depends upon the state and that is usually 12-14.





Do you notice any thing in his attitiude when you have your child for visitation?





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I think you need to bring it to the courts attention that your child is being denied visitation with you. And phrase it that way! The child does suffer when they are deprieved of a parents care and concern.





You have a right/duty to contact his counselors and relate what you have learned is happening in that household. Remember they will look skeptically at what his second exwife is saying BUT it may explain some of the childs behavior. Your ex is abuseive and the counselor must be made aware of it. The child may be afriad to relate to his counselor just what his father is doing. This may be the cause of his problems.At what age can a child legally decide which parent he wants to live with?
At 13 years of age...your son's desire to live with you is most definitely considered by the court.





However, what you NEED to do is contact a good attorney who specializes in custody and family law.





Based upon the comments you made up to this point...I'd say you stand a good chance of winning custody unless there was a specific reason that prevented you from gaining custody in the first place!





Talk to your son and ask him what he feels!





Best wishes!
talk to a lawyer and find out what you can do. as your child gets older he will realize that you are in fact his mom. just be there for him and show him that you love him no matter what. I hope you get full custody of your child.
the child is in the parentS legal control until they are 18, but the parents are the real ones to decide if their child is ready for a chose like that.
Depends on the state you live in. some as young as 11 some as old as 16. You need to get a lawyer or go to child welfare and get this issue before a judge. If you can get witnesses, all the better. Be prepared for your son to be put in temporary foster care if the issue isn't solved right away. Try to comunicate to your son that foster care is only temporary. (Not all foster care providers are bad, most are good, loving people! You only hear about the bad ones.) Good luck and this has to go before a judge for the child to declare his wishes. Even if he isn't old enough, he is old enough that the judge will take his wishes into consideration!
walking in your shoes right now hon, in my state the child at age 12 and above is talked to by the judge, at age 14 and up the child's preference is taken in as any other piece of evidence in a court of law. The judge can use his/her discretion to talk to a child younger than 12 and that also depends on the age and maturity of the child and the situation that the child is in. Check your local laws, ask a lawyer, it may vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction.
I sdon't know what state you are in but in Kansas they law really starts to listen to choldren at 14.
The age differs in each state. More importantly the judge can accept or reject the child's choice.





What it sounds like you are dealing with is PAS, Parental Alienation Syndrome. Read about it. You are not alone. It is a cruel form of child abuse and you it will help you to understand it.